confused.

I don't think I should be wanting to talk about this; i just thought that maybe i could write this out.. sometimes I feel as if there's nothing left that I can do.. but what's the point anymore. why do u tell me things? idk if they are true or not, or whatever you're trying to do. but, its working. its been working for the past 3 years that I have known you. and those years, we have been thru so much. I don't want to give up on everything, but I'm scared. I'm scared, but at least I still try. but you don't. ever since soph' year, u stopped. you gave up on me. I DIDNT HAVE YOU THERE TO LEAN ON ANYMORE. i had myself and that wasn't enough. you know that I'm not independent, you know I can't be there for myself. I need you. I really do.. is it possible to be hurt so much that it seems as if nothing else can hurt and whatever will hit you next, you can take it? I'm kinda like that;; I'm numb enough to not feel the pain. I'm strong enough to get thru this and still be here. no matter what you say, no matter what you do, I will be right here waiting for you. & ppl might know who I'm talking about, but if u dont, have you been here? scared, not knowing what to do anymore? lessoned learned: promises are so EASILY broken. there's nothing you can do to really know the TRUTH, and what's going to happen.. if they are actually keeping their word. you don't know. you can't. sometimes i wish i knew. i always think but i never know :(

what can i do? I'm stuck in a hole and I don't think I'm ever going to find a way out.