I feel kind of bad inside. sad, lonely. Reminiscing all the time and nothing helps. There is nothing I can do anymore. It's never going to be. How can I hear the word "girlfriend" and it not be me? How can I give up everything and give my whole life to someone who is just going to throw it all away and go off with someone else? What's the point, right? You guys tell me what's the point?! Yeah, ur right.. what IS the point?? Why do I care so much. No, I'm not making it harder than it seems. I went through too much. I'm still fighting for a reason. My heart wants him for a reason. There has to be a reason why I'm not over this.. ! Oh, I always lie to myself that I'm over it. I lie to myself and pretend that I don't like him. Deep down, one little word he says has gotten me head over heels and chasing after him again. Talking about the future.. Everytime I try to talk about stuff, he changes the subject. I just wish that I can say everything on my mind, and let him LISTEN, and thats it. Ugh, so much on my mind about this. Everytime I think about it, it makes me want to cry. I will probably blog about this forever and never get back with him. SO PATHETIC! but oh well! i never asked for u to read my blogs :P

Mmm, 3 people now! wow.. I don't want this |: not really..? ugh. I said that I was done with boys and just when I say that, another one comes along.

OH, and aimy became my bestfriend on 05.07.09! YEAAAHH. aha(: I might go to see the wiz! yup yup <3 now off to do hw and project.. I probably bombed my math test :( IT WAS HARD..