MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.

I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this.

I have to be friends, FOR NOW. so what's going to happen after the "for now" part? how could you not know? =/


So what am I to do? reminisce on how bad 8th grade was and how similar it was to this year? except for the fact that you did hate me then, but now you don't? sometimes i wish you did..


There's no possible way I can do this and you know how hard this is for me.. why put me in so much pain? If we're done for good, why not say it? I don't know if it's a lie or not when you say "No." but I always think negative.. I can't be miss. independent, I can't be anything you want me to be. I don't listen. I'm bad :(



I know that saying, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, then its meant to be." What if it doesn't? =/ you told me that you would find me.. no matter what, you always will. I can do this.. I THINK. but I'm putting myself down. and I should really think more about my feelings. I know what I did was bad.. I'm not perfect.. I yell when I'm mad, I take things out on you, I do every little thing into something big to hurt you, and that's not fair to you.. yet you still stood by my side, you still came back. maybe it's different this time around?



My logs will mostly be about how I'm taking things.. =/ how I'm on my adventure to being more independent and doing things by myself..


PE: I feel sorry that josh wasn't there for aimy (cause he wasn't at school today), and I made her the third wheel.. well, i felt like I was doing that. I won't do it again.. everytime I'm in this sad mood, I completely ignore others around me. how self centered :(


When are things going to be better? how I want them to be? I know I can't get everything I want, but he was the only thing I couldn't get. wait, scratch that.. He's the only thing I can't get NOW. BUT i had him, and i lost him.. I DON'T feel bad about losing him.. I feel better now that we have time apart, so we won't mess up in the future.. hopefully.



I CAN DO IT. I CAN DO IT. I CAN DO IT. I THINK.. =/



current: texting Will. texting Connie. Walk to school with Connie on Wednesday. Tio's with Rajvi on Saturday. get sushi with Will sometime this week. [he is taking me out and paying for me]. I have homework. okay, bye!



*-if your name is Abby Creel, HI! :) 'SUPPP THUGGG <3 ALiNA <---- HAHAAAHAHAA